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Lisa, if menopause was a male syndrome it would have long been eradicated.
Research has shown that many women cannot take estrogen and cannot do any "natural" ingredients because of they may contain soy which has estrogen, albeit natural.
I had your symptoms (also could not take hormones), and had to deal with it on my own. I am sorry that you are going through this. Here is what I did, stay away from all foods that cause acid reflux-including milk, cheese, spices etc. --eat a lot of bananas, rice and non-grain breads.
As for flashes and night sweats, waw. Keep a bowl of ice water with a wash cloth next to you. I wish I could be more helpful, but very little funding is going towards research on women's health, particularly menopause. If you can please write to your congressional reps and ask them to support funding.
All the best
s
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