Try not to be embarrassed. This isn't something you caused. It's probably just the way your skin and anatomy is and it could get irritated by just tampon or pad use. I don't think your mother would think badly of you and would probably be more supportive than you think.
I have a couple more questions... Okay, is this normal??
No. Most women do not have this problem.
If it goes untreated for a while will it hurt anything?
Probably not if you don't get worsening symptoms and it doesn't start swelling and hurting more and more frequently.
Does sex irritate it?
Since it is at the entrance to the vagina I suspect sex will irritate it and make it swell more. You would be the one to answer that. Try to get it looked at so you will know and not worry.
Enlarging tissue below the urethral opening
During the past couple of months I have noticed an enlarging of tissue around the vagina area. There has always been a small bulb-like amount of tissue at the top of the opening of the vagina, below the urethral opening but it has never been a problem. Lately it has enlarged and has stayed that way and causes pain during intercourse.
Is this a normal part of the female anatomy?
Without seeing it, making a diagnosis is difficult. However, several possibilities exist which include NORMAL hymen, urethral diverticulum or blocked/infected Skene's gland. The Skene's gland cyst is the most likely from your description and will need to be opened or excised if it keeps swelling up.
Why is it swollen suddenly?
Infection or possibly irritation with intercourse
I am hesitant about going to my gynecologist about this because I do not know if it is normal or not. Please give advice if possible.
If you are concerned, see your doctor so he/she can obtain a history (which would include things like how long "the tissue" has been present, the presence of any discharge, fever, redness, painful urination etc) and do a physical exam.
Tear or cut near clitoris
Recently my clitoris has been quite sore, almost like it has been cut, and after intercourse my whole vagina became incredibly swollen. I have noticed that there is a small amount of discharge from the clitoris, and at times I am quite itchy. I have a faithful relationship with my partner and do not know what is wrong with me. Please help, I have lost all of my sex drive as well!
It sounds as if there was some direct mechanical irritation of the clitoral area or possibly even a contact dermatitis. Did you use any lubricants, deodorants, creams etc., on the area?
Treatment usually is to abstain from relations for about 5-7 days, use petrolatum as a coating to prevent further contact irritation (use about twice per day apply thin coat) and avoid other creams or soaps directly. Tub bathe with just soap in water but not directly on affected area is ok.
Fear of pain can decrease libido. Was desire a problem before this came up? Are you on any meds? Need some more info.